Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Student Creates Black Hole by Crossing The Cloud Storage Streams

An unnamed Computer Science student at Stonehill College near Boston has shocked the scientific community (and presumably his missing roommate) by creating a black hole while simultaneously using multiple cloud storage services. It all began when he placed his SkyDrive folder into his DropBox folder, his DropBox folder into his Google Drive folder which also contained his SkyDrive folder. The resulting sync operation created a black hole into which all of his data and most of his dorm room were consumed.
The student has declined interviews, but the following statement is on record with campus police:
"I just wanted as much free storage as possible. I hoped that by syncing the various products with each other, I might achieve some form of storage amplification. I never imagined I would shake the foundations of physics or cloud storage file compatibility."
During the cataclysmic event, the student observed a sustained appearance of the Higgs Boson particle. However, after several seconds, Google Drive renamed the particle "Higgs Boson.gdoc." The resulting format is incompatible with known physics and is therefore lost to science. Unfortunately, the previous version was sucked into the black hole and cannot be recovered.
We contacted CERN for comment on the story and its implications for the Large Hadron Collider
"We cannot comment at this time as our internal IT policy strictly forbids the installation of storage solutions utilizing a public cloud infrastructure. If the LHC manages to unlock the secrets of time travel, we fully intend to go back in time and make sure that our IT administrator's father and mother never meet."
Police began a universe-wide search for the missing roommate, but it was abruptly called off and declared a failure when the International Space Station reported that he wasn't on board.